Heaven or ?

Another talk I did at Toastmasters. This one indicates a crack in my armor…or is it in my head? –Sue

Heaven? or ?

I did quite well living out of a suitcase…for about a year. At around move #7 it lost its luster. Nearly two years after moving across country we are in a place of our own. We are so thankful to God for selling our house in Pullman, for the help of friends in that process and for the kind and generous people who had us house sit or took us in during the transition.

Back in Washington we have friends who own homes overlooking places like the Puget Sound with the Olympic Mountains in the distance and evergreens growing down to the water. Others have property with panoramic views of the majestic Cascade Mountains.  Places like that can make one feel like they have purchased a little piece of heaven.

Now that’s a big fish!

However, the place we bought may just be a little piece of hell on earth.

I know, that sounds a bit harsh, but let’s review the facts. Does anyone really think heaven will have thorns, brambles, and poison ivy as seen in these pictures?

Remember the bad guy in “Frosty the Snowman”? “Nasty, nasty, nasty!”

If you get tangled up in any of that, it will take you down. There you will come face to face with fire ants…which will finish you off in a few hours, leaving little for the vultures to clean up.

A little bite, a big pain!

One day I carefully stepped around the fire ant hills while exploring out back. I had on tall socks and boots. Suddenly, my leg felt the burning pain of a fire ant attack. A few of them had gotten to me anyway. At that moment I did not think heavenly thoughts.

If you avoid death by fire ant, maybe the armadillo holes will do you in.

When you live elsewhere and see pictures of armadillos you think they are like a state bird or flower…beloved and cherished. Actually they are rather loathed because they are destructive. Stories abound of midnight forays to shoot the critters.

These guys love to dig in your garden

One of our new neighbors hopes the armadillos will bother us and leave his property alone. I have told him, he just became the general and we joined his army. Armadillos have that armor for a reason.

Further evidence that this place is hellacious is that the coyotes gather out back at dusk and make a racket. Yet another neighbor likes to say the coyotes sing. I think it sounds more like demons screaming! And I find it creepy!

I’ll tell about the snakes, wasps, skunks, deer and wild pigs later. I have been assured that I won’t want for writing and speaking topics.

In the meantime, I ponder how my friends sit on their decks watching the orcas breech in the Puget Sound and the snow falling on mountain peaks. In my reverie I realize that the view of the piney woods from my back patio, with brilliantly blue and red colored birds that sing soul soothing songs, proves that, actually, we have all purchased little patches of paradise.

A splash of color!

I leave you with an adaptation of an old song… (sung to the tune of Home on the Range)

Oh give me a place

Where there’s plenty of space

For the ants and the dillos to dig

Where often you hear

Coyotes scream in your ear

And one day we will shoot us a pig

(Yes, I sang this at the close of the speech!)

~ Sue


2 responses to “Heaven or ?

  1. Just wish I could have heard you give it! Love, love! You go, girl! So glad you are finding the bright spots amidst the brambles. My grass is indeed green this morning but no orcas or mountains to be seen. Life is hard everywhere!

  2. This reminds me of a Jim Eliot quote:
    “Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God for you.”

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